How To Be a Dope College Roommate

by Hannah Quense

So you've figured out you and your roommate have different types of love languages. (If you don't know what I mean, read my previous blog about what types of love languages there are and which one is yours). Now that you know which language your roommate is speaking, it's time to find out how to speak it yourself, and be a dope roommate.

Just like English, some of the love languages are second nature to us; while, on the other hand, some are just as foreign to us as Japanese. If we become fluent in all of the love languages, then we can help the other person understand that they are loved. 

It might take time to learn a new language, but in the end how much more loved would your friend feel if you spoke to them in their native tongue, in their own love language?

Now, since there isn't a Rosetta Stone for love languages, here are some examples from my own experience of how we can love our roommates and friends best by speaking their love language.

Words of Affirmation

Often times in my house, I would find a note from my roommate tucked in my packed lunch. It was usually a simple, "You've got this!" or "Good luck with your presentation!", but it always meant the world to me knowing someone cared enough to be so thoughtful. 

Quick Tip: Encourage your roommates when they're down, or affirm them when they are unsure. Better yet, take time to encourage and affirm them when they aren't down! Send an encouraging text during the day, give them compliments, tell them you appreciate them, and take the time to intentionally honor them.

 

Acts Of Service

One of my roommates was so busy, - between family obligations, school, and work - she barely had time to stop and breathe. I sometimes wondered how she had time to do her chore on the weekends, until one Saturday, I found another one of my roommates doing it for her. She felt so loved when she came home, expecting to stay up late to finish her chore, only to find it was already done.

Quick Tip: Do the dishes for your roommate, do their chore once, make them dinner when they're too busy studying, or shovel the driveway. If you live in Arizona, Florida, or Texas, maybe fan them with a giant palm leaf when it's super hot out (that's the equivalent to shoveling snow, right?)

 

Receiving Gifts

My roommate once got me an apron (because I love to cook) with a mustache on it (because I think mustaches are on point). As it turned out, the apron was actually a tote bag. I cherished it nonetheless because of the thought that went into it.

Quick Tip: If you see something that reminds you of a particular roommate and it won't break the bank - get it for them. A gift that has a lot of thought put into it, no matter how small or ridiculous, means the world to someone who receives love in this way.

I've heard some people say, "My love language is food." (I may or may not have been one of those people.) In reality, their love language is receiving gifts; those gifts are just things you can eat. So make your roommate cookies, or get them chocolate, or bacon, or pizza, or bagels, or *can no longer talk because mouth is watering too badly*

 

Quality Time

As someone whose primary love language is quality time, it isn't necessarily about spending time in deep conversation with another. It is about living life together and actually doing things with people. One of my favorite memories is when my roommate and I spent the better part of a Saturday making a chandelier out of ladles (yes, ladles.) It wasn't a significant project, but the time we spent together laughing over what we were doing made us both feel loved by one another.

Quick Tip: Make the effort; don't wait for them to initiate. They feel loved when someone else chooses to initiate and spend time with them. Do homework in the same room with them; go grocery shopping together; go out one-on-one this weekend; or go to the gym together. 

 

Physical Touch

GIF in #ew

I hated physical touch, but it was my roommate's primary love language. Knowing how much I hated it made my roommate feel all the more special when I would hug her after she came home from class. If I wanted to love her well in the ways she needed, I had to make the effort despite how badly I might cringe inside when I did.

Quick Tip: Sit close to your roommate on the couch. Greet them with a hug. If you're a guy, bro-hug or tackle your brother and wrestle, because gosh-darn-it, you love him enough to do so.

 

Go from nope to dope

Living in any kind of close community can be hard at times, but Scripture calls us on to "love one another, not just in word or speech, but in deed and in truth." (1 John 3:18) Let our love for our friends be rooted in the truth of Christ's love, evident in the deeds that we do and the words we say, and in accordance to the love language that our friends speak.